adult life · life update · mental health · personal posts

19th December 2018

I always try and seem positive to other people because I never want yo feel like a burden to people but today I have felt completely broken. ive not felt down or miserable or anything per say but more i have felt so exhausted and I’ve had probably one of the most difficult days at work

I didn’t sleep well last night at all….just far too much on my mind, tossing and turning. I’ve spent all day at work trying to make sure everything was sorted but because I didn’t sleep well my concentration was awful and the stress got to me. as the day went on it’s like my mind was going at a million miles an hour and I could feel myself getting tense and it felt like a pile of mush and a big mess by 5pm. I just felt like having a good cry at my desk because i was so tired. couldn’t focus or think straight and I kept feeling more exhausted and my confidence was dropping. and because of this I was doubting my work – everything, checking everything and I was scared to ask for help with my work as it made me feel weak. people were asking for my help and i love helping people with it it makes me feel great and confident and happy but today was different I was scared that I was wrong and that i would tell them to do it wrong. that if I did it wrong I’d get told off and people wouldn’t trust me. it felt like a huge amount of pressure to be right like people would doubt me and seemed unsure of my advice. some people at work made me annoyed and I just wanted to tell them to go away or at least stop talking! I wanted to work somewhere else in a nice quiet room and I could just get on with work
and I’m so grateful for the couple of people who kept me going and didn’t let me go insane. but I took a step back and as the day went on I realised I just needed some breaks…so I went and sat and talked to my friend for 5 minutes, made a cup of tea and just took a break from work

but now I’ve been home for a few hours and I’ve had a bath I’m starting to slow down in my mind and things seem less mushy and more clear and calm. I’ve realised and I need to keep reminding myself I can’t be good at everything. I’m not going to know everything and if I’m not sure then try my hardest to find it and if not, then ask.

sophie x

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adult life · Birthdays · Life Advice · personal posts · things that make me happy

Twenty Three!

So about a week ago it was my 23rd Birthday!! And couldn’t have asked for anything better than having a lovely weekend at home and spending time with my family. Turning 23 has got me thinking about all the things I have learnt and although 23 is still young and I have yet to learnI think but I’ve learnt a fair amount by now. So here is 23 I have learnt in my 23 years.

1). People will hurt you

Whether they mean to or not, or whether its someone you’re close to or not or whether it was something little or big. You will get hurt and the best thing you can do is put your head up high and learn from it.

2.) You don’t have to know what you want to do

When you leave school/ college or university it is completely ok and normal to not know what you want to do. You’re allowed to change your mind. Your interests change with age and other oppertunities come up. So don’t be afraid to change if its what you want to do.

3.) Be kind and smile

Treat others the way you want to be treated. You may not be in a great mood but there’s never a need to take that out on other people.

4.) You never really know…

You will never know how someone is truly feeling. like I said above be kind and treat others how you want to and never judge someone until you’ve walked in someone;s shoes.

5.) Family are everything

Living away from home and recently losing a grandparent I have learnt this lesson the difficult way. Growing up I took my parents/family for granted but ever since moving away I’ve learnt the importance of family. You may not see eye to eye but thats ok – its normal but it’s so important to keep in touch, visit them/call them because you never know what could happen. Thank them for what they sacrifice to make sure you’re happy.

6.) Life is what you make of it

If you’re not happy or want something then the only person who can make that happen is YOU. and no one else. If you want to be in a career, a better relationship or even learn a new hobby then go out and reach for it. Life is what you make of it and opportunities don’t just happen. You have to make them happen.

7.) Everybody has problems

You may think you’re the only person with problems but that is not the case. Everybody has stuff going on in their lives. Some just hide it better. but one thing to remember is that EVERYONE’S PROBLEMS ARE REAL! whether they seem silly to you they’re not to that person so be senstive and understanding. If someone opens up to you listen and acknowledge their problems.

8.) Overthinking doesn’t end well

Overthinking is never good. It can just make you feel awful, put you in a negative mood and, from experience, impact relationships/friendships. Just got to go with the flow. things are never what you make out to be. what happens happens – learn from it.

9.) Its important to eat.

This may seem silly but the amount of times I have stopped myself eating or not finishing my meals because I thought it would help me lose weight. When in reality is that it is the worse thing. You need to eat, by not doing it you only feel weak,tired and increase the risk of putting on weight when you do eat.

10.) You can’t change people

Trying to control the people around you into something they are not is pointless and just a waste of time. People are who they are and you can’t please everyone and if they’re not someone you want to be around then leave and say bye.

11.) You are your biggest critic

There’s no one out there who will judge you expect you. Sometimes you’ve got to cut youself some slack. Everybody is different and beautiful in their own way.

12.) Its okay to cry

This is not understood enough I think. If you’re feeling down its ok to cry. It’s good to let things out. it can be make you feel so much better after.

13.) Surround yourself with good people

You want to be around people who make you feel happier and who build you up. People who will support you no matter what your choices.

14.) Save Money

You want to start saving money as early as possible. for that be emergencies or to help you move on in life (for example, deposit for a house etc)

15.) Not everyone is perfect.

People make silly mistakes and often do something bad/they shouldn’t have but that doesn’t make them a horrible person but only human.

16.) Just say yes

Saying yes to more opportunities that you would have normally said no to can improve anxiety and confidence. It gives the chance to meet so many new people and experience so many new things. whats the worst that can happen?

17.) Failure is normal

Nobody is perfect. Sometimes things go well and you succeed however, someones you fail. It’s normal and you’re only human. It doesn’t say any less of you and if anyone judges you then screw them.

18. ) Remember the small things

Often the smallest things im life can make you the happiest. Dance around to music, sing as loud as you can, spend time with friends and laugh until you cry!

19.) Go on adventures

Make a list of all the places you want to go and travel as much as possible. Whether it be in the same country to see friends or across the world to somewhere completely new!

20.) Everything happens for a reason

Whether it’s good or bad everything that has happened to you for a reasons. its what shapes us into the person we are today. Go with the flow!

21.) Exercise!

You don’t have to go extreme and go for a mile long run every morning but little bits of exercise is so good to imporve mood, confidence and general fitness. Whether it be a small run, a long walk, swimming or joining a gym…it will help you in the long run.

22.) Be yourself

Don’t let anyone control you. Be you want to be…dress how you want, listen/watch what you want to and don’t let anyone bring you down for doing what makes you happy. You are perfect how you are!

23.) There’s so much more to learn

You will continue to learn and make mistakes but you’ll grow and be an even better person than you already you

Sophie x

Clothing · purchases

H&M & New Look Haul

For a while now I’ve been trying to find some new clothes and I’ve been popping into town every other weekend to try and find some. However, I was really struggling to find anything I really liked and I had no luck….until now! This weekend I popped into H&M and New Look (mostly h&m) where I’ve managed to pick up some jumpers and new tops.

First I picked up this mustard jumper with ‘Sunshine on my mind’ on from New Look for £17.99, which I have paired with a simple pair of black high waisted jeans from Primark. This is definitely an ‘out there’ purchase. I’ve never worn this colour before and I may possible return it but for now, its staying….

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And on to H&M! I picked up this red jumper for £6.99 with stripes running across and down the arms and have paired it and tucked it into a nice little denim A-line skirt. Again, this is not something I thought I would have liked but I’m getting a 70s vibe it and I love it.

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Another jumper! Can you tell I’m excited for Autumn? This one is again from H&M and was £6.99! Its a lovely grey (back to my usual colours) with NASA on the front. Now, my reason for this purchase is because I’m a bit of geek and appreciated the NASA logo. I didn’t know what to pair this with so I’ve gone with a black skater skirt, which was also from H&M.

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Finally I got a couple of causal tops, again, from H&M which were £6.99 and £8.99. A simple black top with white stripes on the sleeves! and a little black and stripey top.

I seem to have a thing where I can’t go shopping and not buy a stripey top! I just get drawn towards them!

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Sophie

x

 

 

 

 

 

baking · home · Uncategorized

Pretzel Success!

One thing I do love to do is bake! whenever I get the chance to bake I will do it! However, I always bake sweet things and have never really baked anything savoury! so today I changed that and made soft pretzels! Anything savoury and salted is my weakness and I’ve got a pretzel reciepe from TanyaBakes (Youtuber Tanya Burr recipe’s book)! so I decided to have afternoon of baking and give them a try!….and they were a success! They were golden brown, soft in the middle and a very much salty!

I thought I’d share the recipe for those who don’t have it and would like to give them a try… 🙂
Ingredients…. (makes 12 pretzels)

  • 500g strong white bread flour
  • 1 x 7g fast-action yeast
  • 50g caster sugar
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 300ml warm millk
  • 80g melted butter
  • 20g bicarbonate of soda
  • 1 egg beaten
    To Decorate
  • 1 tablespoon of ground cinnnamon + 3 tablespoons golden caster sugar (sweet pretzels)
  • Sea salt (for salted pretzels)

Instructions

  1. Put the flour, yeast, sugar and salt into a large bowl or mixer
  2. In a separate bowl, combine the milk and melted bulter and slowly pour into the dry ingredients
  3. Bring together to form a dough, then knead for 10 minutes. Put in a greased bowl, cover with clingfilm and prove in a warm place for 1 hour until doubled in size.
  4. Preheat the oven to 200 degrees
  5. Split the dough into 12 pieces. Roll each out into a long thin sausage, about 40cm long.
  6. Cross the ends of the dough twice, then bring the strands down and press into the dough.
  7. Boil a full kettle, and pour into a large saucepan. Add the bicarbonate of soda (this will fizz so watch out) and mix till dissolved. Dunk each pretzel into the water for 10 seconds and remove with a slotted spoon. Transfer them to a baking tray.
  8. Brush with the beaten egg.
  9. Combine with cinnamon and caster sugar or salt (which ever you fancy)
  10. Bake for 10-12, until golden.

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Sophie x

personal posts · Tag posts · things that make me happy

50 things that make me happy

I can often have a negative/anxious mind set sometimes and so I wanted to create a little list that focuses on all the small little things that make me happy! 🙂

  1. My family (I always love trips home to see the fam – even my brother ha)
  2. Baking
  3. The smell of fresh bread
  4. Disney
  5. Sound of rain in a caravan
  6. The seaside (having my feet in the sand listening to the sea)
  7. Harry Potter
  8. Musicals
  9. Dancing around my flat with music on full
  10. Christmas and everything christmas related
  11. Tea
  12. Pepperoni Pizza
  13. Bonfires and fireworks
  14. Bubble Baths
  15. Bannana Ice Cream
  16. My friends
  17. Laughing so hard you cry
  18. Taking photos
  19. FRIENDS
  20. Swimming
  21. Long winter walks
  22. Autumn
  23. Fresh fruit
  24. Sleep
  25. Getting into bed to a fresh duvet
  26. Comedies
  27. Hugs
  28. 80s music
  29. Being cuddled up in bed
  30. Homeware
  31. Salted Popcorn
  32. Lush products
  33. Arctic Monkeys
  34. Boots – a good pair of winter boots!
  35. Snow
  36. Thunderstorms
  37. Youtube videos
  38. Dressing up and going out with friends
  39. My childhood teddy
  40. Travelling
  41. People that make laugh
  42. Mugs – yes, I have a thing about buying mugs
  43. New pjs
  44. Good, deep chats with friends
  45. Cosy nights in with fairy lights on
  46. Date nights
  47. Mango smoothies
  48. Fish and chips – or realistically chicken nuggets and chips
  49. Long over due catch up
  50. Making people happy/smile/ laugh

Sophie x

Travel · trips

Travel bucket list

I’ve had a lot talk with friends about travel recently and its got me thinking of all the places that I want to visit and things to look forward to

1.Iceland

Iceland is right there at the top of the places I want to visit in my 20s. It looks unbelievablely beautiful and, for a geographer, it is the place to go to see all the wonderful geographical features! geysers, hot springs, lagoons, glaciers, volcanoes and the list goes on *tries to control the inner geography nerd inside of me*

iceland
wonders of iceland

2. New York

New york new york! the city that never sleeps! I am defiently a city gal and I like to be around everything and have the possibilty of being able to do whatever whenever and where better to do that than new york where you can get whatever you want at 2am? There are so many places I want to visit in new york; the empire state building, statue of liberty, times square (of course all the typical tourist places). I want to endulge in as many pretzels and pizza slices as possible. explore broadway. ride in a yellow cab. ice skate in central park. and of course FRIENDS was set there…..can I go now please?

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New York

3. New Zealand

Yes New Zealand looks beautiful, and like iceland it is full of geographical features such as glaciers I’d love to explore, but the main reason this is on my list is because of Lord Of the Rings! yes thats right, Lord of the Rings! All 3 films were set in New zealand and the first thing I’d do here is the film location tour and I regret nothing. They’re taking the hobbits to Isengard!

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The shire

Sophie x

adult life · personal posts

Letter to my younger self 

Having being home for a few days and having gone through a difficult few months it made me think about being at home as a teenager and how difficult that period was but how I came out stronger. And it gave me an idea for a blog post idea. To write a letter to myself at a time where I was about to go through an awful period and what I would say now.

Dear 16 year old Sophie,

I write to you on a train to Nottingham where you will soon work full time, live in a nice little flat with your boyfriend but right now you are about to finish your GCSEs and soon begin another chapter of your education….A-levels. Right now you feel excited and happy to study the subjects you actually enjoy and feel more ‘adult’ but, what you don’t know is, these next two years will be two of the hardest you will go through. You will go through difficult period in your life. There will be several people (and I think you know which group of people with additional people) who will try to make you feel the worst about yourself, they will tease you, mock you for their own benefit and to make them look cool…but you will survive!!

My advice? Just keep your head down. Don’t respond to the nasty of others (easier said than done, I know but trust me) the people around you right now like it when you argue/respond and it only encourages them to tease more and poke at your weaknesses because they know you don’t like it.They will make you feel more alone maybe because it will make them feel better about their own lives, you don’t know and unfortunately you never will. But what you can do is be the bigger person and ignore them and do your own thing….they’ll soon realise their immaturity. It may be difficult and you may not want to go to lessons but remember why you chose those subjects and let that keep you going. You’ll start to experience anxiety and depression a lot!! And this is normal and you’ll learn to control it but for now talk to a teacher, you know which teachers you can trust, so use that trust and talk to them when things get tough, I know you want to and I know you’re scared to reach out for help but it will help you feel less alone and help you talk about problems in the future and you’ll thank me later.

Be yourself, if you don’t want to go out and drink then that’s fine and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

In the next two years you will meet a boy, who is charming, handsome and the popular kid but wont want anything to do with you. It’ll hurt and you will feel heart break and you feel like no one will ever want to be with you but that’s not true…you can’t go looking for these things. You’ll meet someone, who you are still with now and who is just right for you, when the time is right.

Be yourself and stay strong because you will get through these two years and the next 3 years after will be the best you will ever have.

Kind regards,
Your future self (22 years)

Beach · home · summer · trips

Day at the beach 

Hii

As it is the bank holiday weekend I decided to take a little trip back home (I live and work in another city few hours away) and I can’t begin to explain how nice it has been. It’s been quite a stressful and difficult few weeks or shall I say months and to come  home and to relax was exactly what I needed.

One thing we always normally do when I’m home is we go to the beach (weather dependent obviously) but this weekend the weather has been perfect so hopped in the car and went to a little seaside village called Beadnell which is in Northumberland about an hour away from home. Our good family friends have a caravan up there so we take the opportunity and visit them too which is an added bonus! The day consisted of a long over due catch up, a good old BBQ and a long walk along the beach….perfect! 

adult life · life update

Moving out, graduate job and adulting|Life update

So… I haven’t wrote a blog post in a few months! and it’s fair to say life has completely changed and I have been chucked into adult life very quickly! My experience with adult life so far has been a whirpool of emotions; panic, stress, tears, excitment! and it’s not been easy I can tell you that. I’d explain it like when you’re in the deep end of the pool and all of a sudden you realise your feet don’t touch the floor! when you go to get your phone out of your bag and you can’t find it, or when you miss a step coming down the stairs and you fear for your life…you get my point?

It all started back in Novermber, 2016 when I got a job for a company I had tried to get a job with since I left uni that summer. I was so happy and excited but there was one thing….the job was in nottingham….about 3/4 hours away! And so the flat hunt began and I can honestly say that I  think that this was more stressful than my interview! Trying to look for a flat in a city you don’t live in/know and where you can’t just drive there for the day is extremely difficult and stressful. Flats were getting taken very quickly and I honeslty thought I was going to be homeless…. no joke! In the end, I managed to find a nice little flat just outside the city centre and only a 15 minute walk to work….bonus!
Living on my own has honestly been the hardest most difficult thing I’ve done. Being about a 3/4 hour train journey away from home makes it difficult to just ‘pop home’ when I want and with my boyfriend being at uni and friends being miles away means it can get a bit lonely but I’m slowly getting there..very slowly ha I’m trying to get some confidence to actually go outside and meet people ha

My first day at work is all a big blur at this poin as I was terrified, anxious and even more socially awkward than normal, and my ID badge will remimd me of that for the rest of my career there. Now I am 6 months in and have just passed my probhiation period  and continuing to learn and get more experienced yey! And as tiring as the long days are I can honestly I am thoroughly enjoying my job! which I am very happy about because I was terrified about starting – I didn’t think I would be any good, or wouldn’t like it but all is well 🙂

Thanks for reading 🙂

Sophie x

 

 

 

 

baking · home

Homemade chocolate brownies

Hey! So about a month ago my parents bought a recipe book from the charity shop which had a recipe for chocolate brownies, which looked fairly simple and I knew I had to give them a try.

I was planning on baking them for when I next go back down Hull for the weekend but because I’ve never made brownies before, or baked in years for that matter, I thought I’d give them a try first.

The recipe was very simple to follow and took about an hour/ hour an a half to make all together and I wanted to share the recipe to those who may want to give it ago.

What you’ll need; (serves 12 pieces)

225g of softened butter

150g of plain chocolate

225g of self raising flour

125g of caster sugar

4 eggs, beaten

75g of pistachio nuts (optional)

100g of white chocolate (I’m not a huge fan of white chocolate so I added an extra of 100g of plain chocolate instead)

Icing sugar, for dusting

square baking tin & baking paper

Method

  1. Preheat your oven to 180 c/gas mark 4 and grease your baking tin with baking paper.
  2. Add the chocolate and softened butter into a heatproof bowl and set over a saucepan of simmering water. Stir until melted and allow to cool slightly.
  3. Sieve the flour into a separate bowl and stir in the caster sugar.
  4. Add and stir in the beaten eggs into the chocolate mixture then add the flour and sugar and mix well. This is where you can add any white chocolate or nuts you want to add in.
  5. Pour the mixture into the tin and spread evenly. (At this point I got some cadburys giant chocolate buttons, smashed them into pieces and spread across the top of the mixture)
  6. Bake in the preheated oven for 30-35 minutes or until firm to touch around the edge (If the brownie wobbles in the middle, it’s not ready and put it back in, and I read online that if the sides of the brownie start to come away from the paper, then take it out).
  7. Leave to cool in the tin for 20 minutes and then take out and dust with icing sugar and cut into 12 pieces.

 

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Enjoy

Sophie x